Racist?

As many of you know, to day, for halloween, I dressed up as my friend Nathan Epps. Nate happens to be black. So what I did was wear my usual cloths I would any other day, then I painted my face with a brown face paint, to match Nates pigment. Then because my hair is nothing like his, I bought a fake afro to wear. Nothing else, no chains, no "bling", no "pimp" attire, just me, as Nate. I got many odd looks, I looked like I could have been an African American, so most of the looks were a double-take type look. I got a bunch of really positive responses, such as, "man thats soo cool," "you totally look like Nate," and my favorite, "your my hero man." But apparently there was a lot of talk behind my back, by people I thought were my friends. Some people called me racist. I didnt understand this, because I'm not being racist. The dictionary defines racist as, "hatred or intolerance of another race or other races." This is not me, not today, not ever. I do not have a hatred or intolerance for any race, and if I was racist against black people, I would most certainly not have been one for halloween. And I would most certainly not have from moment of getting on campus sought out my "fellow" black students.

My history teacher Mrs. Brown asked me if I had gotten any negative feedback, like being called racist, I sayed no, because at the time, i was unaware of the back talk about me. She was surprised, then she asked me if I knew who the "black faces" were. I did, but I hadnt thought about it earlier, she then went on to explain how back in the 1920 through 40s white people would paint their selves black and would mock black people. I thought about this for a while. I'm not mocking anyone, I'm not doing anything of a mocking fashion to offend African Americans. Then later, my friend say, "copying is the highest form of flattering" then went on to explain how me being black is equal to me loving or praising them. Then I thought more about it. And came to the conclusion that there are 3 reasons for copying: to mock, to annoy, or to show love. And I most certainly was not mocking anyone. I'm sure I annoyed a few people, but that was by complete accident, plus, if I annoy you, DONT BE AROUND ME! It doesnt help you to be annoyed and it sure doesnt help me, because, I can tell when your annoyed, for the most part. So the last option left is to show love. And unless you think that showing love to someone is racist, then I am not racist. Im quite the opposite.

One last thing I thought was very interesting about all of this, was the only people who said anything about me being racist were... WHITE! woah! All the black people I saw that day thought what I did was awesome, but for some reason the white people got offended. Would a white person be offended if a black person painted his or her skin paler and did something if his or her hair, nothing else, wore their normal cloths and acted the same as usual? Dave Chapple does it all the time, the one difference is he is there to mock, but we dont find that offensive. I dont get offended when I think about Michael Jackson's skin color change.

So really, am I racist, or is it you who is far far over sensitive about things like this, because you live in "Serrano" of "El Dorado Hills," the whitest place on earth. I'm sorry I grew up in Milwaukee were nobody was racist because everyone lived together peacefully. So shut up and suck it!

The Dream

"Last week I had the strangest dream, where everything was exactly how it seemed."

This quote from the song Sleeping In by The Postal Service describes my life perfectly. Reality is far less real than that of my dreams. The things that seem normal in to my conscious mind are incomparable to the subconscious of my dreams. In my dreams, police in the "greatest country on Earth," would never even think about shooting unarmed black protesters marching for equal rights. In my dreams, middle aged men do not kidnap, rape, and kill 8 year old girls. In my dreams, if someone has a problem with someone else, they work it out by themselves, they do not send their countries young men and women to a war over their simple grudge. My natural subconscious is unable to comprehend these acts, while my waken conscious is constantly bombarded by vision and stories of this hateful reality. The absolute corruption of the human mind has created this world. Every single human has be tainted by the reality society has placed upon us. It is cemented into our brains at a very young age, and is practically impossible to get rid of. But it is the duty of each and everyone of us to attempt to rid ourselves of the current societies rules of reality.

You may ask, "how do we rid ourselves of these rules?" Well, the answer is simple in theory, but extremely hard in practice. Be kind, be loving, be accepting, be tolerant, and be peaceful. Have integrity, have faith (not necessarily religion) , have trust, and have a voice. We can all live in a reality our subconscious' can understand if we follow these basic ideals. Debates will occur, but they will be debates, not arguments laced with emotion. People will disagree, but with patience, acceptance, and tolerance, agreements will be meet with no violence or persecution.

The problem is that we will never achieve such a society on a large scale. Because people have the tendency to do whatever will get them to the top, no matter who it will hurt. And there will always be at least one person who is willing to sacrifice everyone else, for his or her personal gain.

And that is why I sleep so much. I am simply embarrassed to live in this reality. And I would rather hide in my mind until the day I can truly be myself.